How to cheer yourself up, the wrong way?!

Feeling down?

Not yourself?

Maybe your just a bit off piece and need to return to standard operating procedure, less the aspects that led to current predicaments! If you are lucky then kittens, flowers and all things sickly sweet and rottenly emotionally will raise ones spirits with angelic swiftness to healthy heights, merriness abound and all that crap.

For the less enchanted it is a darkly opposing visual of the mind twisted that raises spirits, if raising spirits is the actual reality here, less the flowers opening in summer hues of brightness but the blackening petals of corrupted vines that revive the icy heart of a man negatively possessed.

I am such a person creature thing existence! and such is the despair ridden nature of my stony little soul that two things brought about a more lively rendition of myself; first was the thought that instead of fighting my fatalistic tendencies, pursuing them would get me more support. You scoff, scream and wholeheartedly reject the notion but think, modern society prefers to fix than maintain, keeping the healthy afloat seems to be second to stopping them taking on too much water in the first place.

Second was when my mother walked through the door and saw me, instinctively I was dramatically donning a dressing gown and leisure clothes in gentlemanly style, despite my world dramatically collapsing around me in depressing style, and it hits me; what if I was a highly successful stoke broker living the life, instead of my mortally broken form with suicidal leanings of late.

Alas it hit me, stoke brokers in popular culture are famously known for there suicidal tendencies and so I’d be in the same crappy boat!!

This morbidity that lingeringly haunts my sense of humour may not appeal to some but to my mother caused a rare eruption of her more famously rare twisted grin, thus I knew…

What you ask, scream, loudly demand an answer, well I knew my depression was vintage enough to proceed in fine form with the damningly depressing task at hand that is fixing my life, again!, and the ever more damning fact that if fatalistic logic can’t hurt me right now, life is going to have to pull some heavy’ol’demons out the bag to stop me.

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