Merited by my Faults

‘For all the reasons I’m broken, I am a good person’

I am officially a failure

I have taken the test and failed without so much as a point in my favour

Alas I must be stricken off the record of humanity

What does this mean you ask? or not, if you’re reading I’m going to tell you anyway!

The consideration of a human varies but at the core of these diverse expectations there are some common values, to which I must confess to having missed so epically that by comparison the metaphorical barn door is too small a reference. In the place where you find that warm fuzzy ball of absorbing emotional goo, so wonderfully soft and cosy you run to it with hastened pace, in my case it is a machine of horrific appearance that would better belong in Dr Frankenstein’s lab.

To further contribute to the collapse of hope that echoes from this gloom ridden piece I must also highlight the distinct lack of sociability, with which I gracefully literate/litter any conversation with single syllable responses like “yes” “no” “fine”, the odd two syllable to add flavour to the bland and unfulfilling word exchange “really” “maybe” “ok”. As I say above, I must be stricken off the record of humanity to prevent the blight of my existence from tainting those worthy of the title ‘Human’ or ‘Normal’.

On the woeful and discarded test paper there is however a small comments section with a set of roughly scribbled bullet points, a set of high speed projectiles to condemn my failure further?… No!

These roughly scribbled bullet points are the silver lining to a much overcast cloud which defines my continuation in this world, as hope was the last thing in Pandora’s Box so this excuse for handwriting proves to be my redemption, a list to flare the proud flames of my darkly consumed soul.


So to myself I raise a toast ‘Whatever I am… It doesn’t work, but what the hell, I like it!

And to all those who are broken, damaged and beat by life, on the edges of humanity but still holding onto common decency, and for anyone lacking sanity but appearing sane! I offer a raised glass and sarcastic quip ‘To the damned, may as well be damned in style’.


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