Brain Overflow and Sleep Deprivation at its Best!

The term ‘Dark’ has many meanings, not least the obvious lack of light that predominately defines it’s metaphorical meaning as a less positive state, but the term equally finds fame in the comic genre as a description for flawed heroes, characters that ultimately have decent motives but less praised style of writing enacting them.

For years the term has brought to me a sense of calming influence in a swarm of perceptions and character expectation, many of which I never quite felt at home with or I thought matched my own perception of reality, as evident by my views on love and relationships which although not bad in nature, are less fluffy than the ideals we are taught in youth. Although it has to said that within modern society and the film industry there is a more enlightened representation as to the different kind of relationships out there, the idea that love can be an emotionally messy process more represented.

Good and evil are polar opposites, one paragon of virtue and the other a debasement of decent values but there is a  lot of room in-between for other things, my own logic putting a finer line down the middle on which my fictional characters are based. On this line I put two values, dark and corrupt, each as selfish and personally motivated as the other but with a key difference. Dark characters respect the laws of common decency and recognise achievements according to a more socially recognisable scale, deal justice by deceptive means and the good result out weighs the bad with a profit on the side, where as corrupt characters lack the regard for concepts such as common decency and have no limit as to who they hurt or where the limit of profit breeches set decency.

In reality dark characters merely act within grey sectors of social convention and lack an element of emotional attachment, making them more effective than others but less socially acceptable, thus the term ‘Dark sense of humour’ highlighting when people find humour in places where there shouldn’t be any, such as death where traditional values dictate strict respect and mournful somberness.

I’m less insane than my own words would imply and function like everyone else yet I have personality glitches that are rooted in darker fields of human nature, these inherent glitches have stripped me of fluffier values as I am driven deeper into my own internal darkness, making me desensitised to various forms of emotional response or as one person put it ‘you have no bedside manner’…. Very true but I get the results!

This is why I like broken people more than the common filler of society, I feel more in tune with them and find my personal values more in line with their thinking, but have been rescued from going beyond certain boundaries by a good upbringing and a naturally strong sense of good. This in turn makes it harder to meet people, what sane person likes to explore the multiple angles of depression, the pros and cons of various personality glitches and when most of your interests lie in these fields talking about boring fluffy crap just bores the crap out of you!

Alas sleep deprivation and depression brought on by writing this are beckoning me to bed, the great silence of sleep to rest the overactive neural pathways of my brain that have to bypass the fractures of my psyche.
So goodnight and may a restful night make you forget what you’ve read, happier and more structured concepts of happiness and fulfillment to bless your day.

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