So I heard the great news and in punctual fashion had to declare my pleasure at hearing about your latest acquisition, you finally got one, took a while but you added to your family unit and in grand fashion you got.. a puppy. I was thankfully jubilant that you didn’t go and have a baby; I mean who wants something that’s slimy, noisy and leaks, when it’s not an alarm clock from hell, that would just be a catastrophe.
Imagine my trepidation when I read your jubilant text about how you now had a, oh crap
So I heard the great news and just had to be the first to say, congrats buddy, you’re a dad, father, member of the parenting elite with that charming wife of yours, the proud owner of a baby, um what was it again… I’ll say girl as you know 50/50 chance of guessing right.
On second thoughts, better just put a card in the mail and blame postal strikes for lateness, again, can’t help that disgruntled postal workers seem to be a permanent fixture of the area/areas/country I live in, and that people are hopefully gullible enough to believe that.
PS: Buddy, major congrats and all humour (please don’t take offence, bit late to say!) aside, I look forward to formal introductions to your daughter and wish you the best, again congrats