“Even after a bad day in Hell, there’s a bar to drown your sorrows”
“When they say don’t mix drugs and alcohol, just consider the angels who let me be created must have been on some vodka, cocaine, acid trip!”
“I will be blissfully relieving myself of conscious thought with a drink this weekend, if anyone wants to join me I recommend you get to the bar before I drain it”
“Hung myself already, death just laughed and left me living
The bar steward has a sense of humour”
My parents have three grown up bundles of Hell, each I think they will happily part from for cash!!
Seriously, I’ve seen the advert in the paper
I have been told that sensitivity towards new parents is vital, but my social filter is fucked!
Don’t worry, my parents labeled that quality ‘Forth rightness’ and asked for an extra fifty squids!!
“I believe I can fly….
But the doctors disagree
The plaster cast is mighty itchy
And they have me in a padded room with no view”
“Either the ground is moving and small ducks occupy my teapot, or I’m less than fine
See you tomorrow folks, the ducks just did a musical number explaining I need to go back to bed”
“Signs you’re too far gone:
Putting milk in the teapot
Shouting ‘goodnight Seattle’ before shutting your door
Laughing evilly in public
So I respectfully turn my affairs over to the nurses for a while”
I don’t think the doctors believed me when I said I was ok to go home!!