WARNING: This is an emotional Purge, Pure, at Unholy levels

Positive Emotions Ask them what will happen and you get:

Happiness; Smile, it’s all good

Positivity; It’ll be ok

Love; Look into that loved ones eyes and feel it all drift away

I’m half way through the bottle in a dive bar from hell and life just created a new bottom to fall out on me, DON’T FUCKING LIE TO ME ABOUT THE DAGGERS IN MY BACK.

 

Negative Emotions Ask them what will happen and you get:

Pain; I will drag you to a place of such horrid feelings that death can’t even save you from feeling this level of wretched misery

Depression; I will lead to your death, don’t care how but that’s all I want

Loneliness; You are on your own and will never have companionship of any kind, get use to it

I should be pissed off but….. NO FUCKING LIES!!!!!

No deception, no tricks or delusion

 

Explore the positive all you want and then only get lies, deceit and failure and guess what; the next time you see that sign for happiness, not so appealing. You turn to the negative spectrum in expectation of all the lies, deceit and failure that the smug smiling bar steward positivity was selling you and guess what; pain delivers, depression hands you a gun and a bottle whilst loneliness stares back from the mirror and says; “Hi, and yes, still just you here at this end of the bar”.

Tell me how I’m meant to ever escape the ruthless truth of these seemingly damning emotional states when I can’t fault them for reliability, they actually do what they promise and unlike everything else don’t fail me. I can guarantee that I will feel this shitty in the future, all the trimmings and twice on Sunday but any gamble into happiness is completely random as to the odds of getting a good deal.

 

I am a borderline manic depressive

I am borderline suicidal sometimes

I am anti-social

And on these counts I will not let you down!

And as much as I want to complain about it, secretly I’m happy that I’ve found something in my life that IS trying to kill me but ISN’T bullshitting me about it!!

 

I am Broken, and Proud of it

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