The ‘Garden’ you started has become the grimly referred to ‘Plant Grave’ by passing persons who shudder when reading the “I Love Plants” comedic sign, their spooked shivers resonating with your last partner’s stunned look when you said “I don’t believe in love, it doesn’t exist”
Your therapist even adjusted his seating position to be outside of the room when that acidic cloud of anti-social words slunk from your mouth, that for the comfortable normalised standards of your existence holds no punishing abnormalities or corrupt verses.
The condemning blow snuck into the fact that the morality challenged angel on your shoulder was seen at an AA meeting in a state akin to an apocalypse survivor’s sanity, the devil on your other shoulder having taken the angel to said AA meeting out of pity!
And there around you is the emotionally toxic cloud that consists of every friend, school pal and human of your age range breaking into horrifically melodic singing about the perfection proofing family life they have, two kids and a dog to boot!
In place of the faultless family life and cute dog; your confirmed single status and a mangled looking feline lingerer lurking in the ‘Plant Grave’ that with screeching hiss and protruded claw, darkly mirror like reflects how you feel every toxic moment you spend in that melodically resonating cloud of grossly happy kid spouting homemakers.
It is now you ask; am I built for Love?
And brace yourself, not from the truth but from the scowling of that piano like hanging protrusion that societal expectations place above us in the form of the warmly red heart shaped demand to conform and be nice.
YOU ARE NOT BUILT FOR LOVE
BUT YOU ARE BUILT FOR AN HONEST RELATIONSHIP
Stereotypical views of love’s insipidly pleasant values are built on the empty foundations of appearance and hollow platitudes; buy red roses, never stop holding hands, wear pink and say you’re ‘sensitive’, go to couples events and finally… always say ‘I love You’ every second of the day despite the fact that doing so prevents breathing, because ‘Love is all you need’…
Relationships are built on the rather more solid foundations of trust, practical co-existence, occasional ‘loud discussions’ others mistake for arguments, forgetting anniversaries because you can’t help it and falling asleep together in a way that looks like two zombies inhabiting a grave; because you both had to endure an exhausting couples seminar hosted by a husband and wife wearing matching pink jumpers!
If in mechanical fashion you pick apart the supposedly fluffy ideals of a relationship and you get a contract, cold heartedly forged as basic devotion and enjoyable sustained co-existence of which the two aforementioned parties voluntarily contractually do so confer their time and energy to manageable make work a beneficial arrangement of living… (and all the legally head bashing jargon would dictate)
And if that’s how you see it; enjoy a long and happy life with a like minded soul whilst casually burning the matching pink jumpers of Mr and Mrs Perfect, whilst hearing the most blessed wailing of that feline like thing occupying your jointly scarring vision of a ‘Garden’ as it frightens away the dogs (and children) of happy couples strolling by hand in hand!
Because some folks are not built for love, but wholly perfect for an honest relationship…