Conversational Humour; How not to do it

Person: He killed himself

Grief councillor: It must be very sad for you

Person: It’s hard to believe he’s not coming back

Grief councillor: And you must accept that to move on

Person: The bar steward is gone forever, how can I move on

Grief councillor: Bar steward?

Person: Yes; ‘bar steward’ means annoying because he screwed up my plan

Grief councillor: (blank stare)

Person: He was meant to be reading the elegy at my funeral, now I can’t kill myself until I make another friend willing to do it

Grief councillor: But you and he were friends, you must take some positive from that

Person: I will; he can’t tell me anymore what not to say in his elegy

Acceptance of self destruction

The liberation from the standards of living by the acceptance that you are capable of ending your own life

The power that sets our fate into the hands we own instead of the expectations of those that would cause us harm

Just beware the lure of temptation on a bad day from hell as our own thoughts may lead to betray us with fatal results

All I said was…

“Ok; so maybe I was blunt, didn’t have to be that truthful and could hold back the venom a bit

All I said was ‘why is she wearing a pavilion designed by an half drunk monkey and that hair do looks like it could be in a horror show’, I can’t help that the hysterical woman has the emotional limits of an emotional five year old

But please Judge; I don’t think it deserves the firing squad, and I mean that bunch of ropey recruits look they couldn’t even hit the wall behind me if it was in their face

Almost as dopey looking as you Judge

…you look angrier somehow and I think I should really shut up now”

The fatal catch

So the world so willingly offers help to a broken man

Positivity offered in abundant wealth

But the fatal catch is not to be overlooked

The only one to fix the damage and find new hope

Is the damaged self now suffering

And who has given up on hope

But if it keeps the world happy…

Let them believe thier attempts can have an effect

As the broken man quietly marks up his wrists!

The Impact

There is a propietial moment in a life when something happens, an impact of such note it creates a hole

That impact causes fractures over time as resulting structural failures branch out as cracks which further weaken the whole

Pieces come loose and drift, some get lost as others lose thier value when detached from other elements that gave them meaning and worth

You are broken

And you ask; What if I could find the impact, fix it and maybe repair some of the damage?

And then you ask; Would you ever be what you once where, or is the thing you have become now quite simply ‘you’? Can you the fixed?

I ask you; What would you choose?

I Don’t Know?

The myriad of open hands, offering suggestions and readily staring opportunities making noisy fuss wherever you look, but what?

‘Easy’ is a word we all rally around and with energetic rush clamour to take advantage of but those wisely walking folks, accomplished and with all the worlds rewards at their fingertips, speak with coolly toned advise about ‘hard work wins returns’

But looking upon the mountainous scale of the hill, flimsy boots with their dampening holes passing on the moisture to your socks, that ‘hard work’ is not so easy a contemplation

So you find yourself stuck at; I don’t know?

Has anyone got a good pair of hiking boots?!

A comment gone a wander

Waters rose, tides got higher
He wasn’t her prince, but an inferior lover
Her wrath was one with the ocean, another claimed by the water
By the betrayal of a prince, many fell to her unearthly power

He stood eternal, she tried and made much a storm to end him
He took her pain and took it more, her tears the thunder
She made the man as her prince, a wedding under oceans
The souls lost to her vengeance, free to sail forever

Written in response to a superior poem I caught on another blog, if that blogger wants to make themselves known in the comments I won’t object